The Day I Went Blind … It Showed Me Many Things

I have decided to share with you a very vulnerable experience that I recently went through, because what it truly represents is the essence of the path of life that is most dear to my heart to share.
Thank you for taking time to read and appreciate it . 
Big Love !

Through a bizarre set of circumstances I completely lost all vision for a number of hours a few weeks ago. It has taken some time for me to  write about it all ,as it has been a pivotal experience in my life, that I have been integrating.

I was visiting Pushkar India to film the new Love Power the Band music video. Everybody there was getting knock out sick and so we had to reschedule the shoot a few times.

I usually don’t get sick when others around me do, and everything seemed to be fine, and my friends had all recovered, and we were good to go for the shoot the next day.

That morning I woke up feeling a little weak and by 11 am I was vomiting, but I didn’t have anything in my belly,  I ate dinner the night before around 7pm and that was the last meal.

So for hours and hours I dry retched, It was horrible and violent and every time I threw up I felt worse. It never alleviated the symptoms as vomiting usually does.
 

I was witnessing an energy move  down my body as the the experience continued. And my Higher Consciousness was saying to me ‘this is how your body is conditioned to respond when you feel you are too close to the Light. It does this to make you turn away from the expansion and instead contract and from your fears perspective protect you, because of old cellular memories of times when you were freely expressing the Light and trauma was the result.

Although the energy was moving down my body it felt like a positive thing, like I was grounding into the cellular trauma, and by accepting it in my body I could then choose myself beyond it and let it go ……. I had no fever,  no headache, just this experience going on, and it took all of me to manage it. I couldn’t even take a sip of water or I would be violently vomiting again, and I was aware of being very dehydrated. Pushkar is in the desert and the dry/hot season had just begun so it was already hard to stay hydrated.

After each bout I would lie down and hear  the voices telling me about the old conditioning, while another part of me was focussed on the feeling of the unbearable suffering of Humanity, and of my own history in this life time of deep circumstantial, (rather than abusive), trauma. It all felt too hard to bare. I was aware this was something I had to come to terms with, yet it seemed a millions miles away while the violent retching was going on. I couldn’t  find the Light in it all !  Yet I did have trust that the energy that was moving downward was going to help me find my way.

After many hours of this I had one extremely violent bout and the next thing I knew I had lost my vision ! I was blind, expect for one beautiful coloured light that was floating around my room. I was blind and had no idea what to do, but the coloured light when I looked at it,  made me feel happy, and sort of calm.  It felt very ‘ET’ and I felt loved,  in the midst of what was becoming to be kind of a horror story.

I was knocking things over, feeling along the walls, trying to find my way to my bed, and the bathroom, and bucket when I needed to vomit, and frankly I was too sick to be too scared, I didn’t even go to the place of ‘Oh the vision will come back’  I was simply ‘with it’ all,  that’s all I could do.

My friends had been messaging me all day to see if I was alright and I simply didn’t have the energy to answer. So by later that evening one friend came to my door to check on me. I invited her in and told her ‘I’m blind’. She said ‘ what do you mean?’ I said  ‘well where are you “ she said ‘I am right in front of you’ I told her I can’t see you at all ! Can you please wave you arms around so I can see if see and outlines …… I waited … there was nothing. I asked ‘ are you waving’, she said ‘yes’. I told I can’t see anything  and I  started to vomit again. She got me a bucket and held my hair back. Then rubbed my back and my feet. I told her I don’t know what going on but I don’t want to go to the hospital. I don’t speak Hindi and this is impossible to explain. I don’t trust what might happen. I am OK to stay here.  I just need to rest.

I fell asleep again, and she sat outside my window for many hours to make sure she could be there if I needed anything. She said when she entered the room, it felt like an otherworldly portal, and I felt like was out of my body. Which was interesting to me because I felt like I was coming more deeply into my body, yet facing a deep cellular trauma that expressed itself by going way out of the body. So both impressions were true.

I slept and woke many times during the night. Each time I woke up I would feel into my body, particularity my belly, and everything felt fine and I was sure I could see again, but when I got up to take a sip of water I was completely sightless, and knocking everything over and would go back and lie down.

This went on until just before dawn around 4 or 5 am I woke up and I could see, my vision was strained but I could see. I was disoriented, linear activities or thinking didn’t feel natural.   I decided to wash in very hot water with lavender oil in it and that seem to reintegrate me.

For two days I could barely eat. My vision was bizarre and strained, and my belly was tight. I was in an altered state, living into everything that happened, and trying to allow it to reveal its wisdom. Then something miraculous happened. I woke up and went outside to do  my morning practice of Light Weaving and Light in Action exercises and I noticed that I could see things at a very far distance with detail, like I had supervision, honestly Iit was incredible. I walked around during the day, looking at places I had seen hundreds of times as if they were new, seeing things I had never seen before, close up and in distances that were actually super human.

I felt light in my head like inertia had lifted, and grounded and happy in my body, with an overall sense of being free and full of Creation’s Love and perfection.. I was having so much insight about my vision  and its strength and weakness interconnected to how much I am able in the moment to open to the invitation from Creation to live in Bliss, and recognize that I am always being held in the Lap and Love of Source no matter what is happening.

This is truly what Awakening is, yet we are deeply conditioned to fear this Bliss and the ultimate surrender of the ego, so it doesn’t happen,  and in most cases we don’t even know  we are turning away from it, though our illness, misfortune, distractions etc…… but mostly by not embodying the Reality that Creation is always with us, and on our side. Always benefit whether you are going blind, deathly ill,  or what ever it may be…… always loving you and giving you a doorway to freedom, and there are no exceptions. The key is you have to perceive it this way. Creation provides the door, but we have the key !!!

What I grasped so clearly .. when my sight became supersonic was …just trust everything Ananda, everything that has happened, that is happening, that might happen, you do not need to fear, even if you have to walk through horror stories, remember Creation is always loving you, has never and can never abandon you, and perception is the key your deepest empowered self !

By having an intimate and trusting relationship with the Moment, we evolve forward with ease and Grace.

Friends no matter what you have or will experience Source is always on your side. Don’t buy into any other thought or disempowering projection from yourself or others on to you.

You were born to be free, and every moment you are given is a doorway to that freedom. The other stories about Reality are old paradigm voices that speaks of duality…and in truth they self manifests the battles they fights !

This is a Cosmic science. Nothing but Oneness is Real and Source is always with you and always on your side. No matter how you may be suffering or have suffered, trust if dear friends, and it will dissolve , and love will reveal.

My vision held  steady in its exalted state until I took a very long journey by way of  Egypt to Costa Rica. It was four days travelling and many hours in the air.

I noticed  the stress of the travel effected vision, sometimes it was super real other times normal for me, and the most important thing was that when it was not I could see I had dropped into some kind of stress, some kind of feeling of not completely being supported by the moment, which is Creation.

It is always awe inspiring to see the consciousness in action !